FAT Fortitude Diaries: Motivation Monday's: Den-Ray Allen's Weight Loss Story

One of my most fondest memories as a child is traveling to South Africa with People to People Student Ambassador Program. I was a chubby little Black girl from Chocolate City DC experiencing a whole different culture, on an entirely different continent at only 12 years old. I am blessed. I will never forget the baboons climbing our tour bus as we journeyed through Kruger National Park, the home with walls made from cereal boxes in Soweto, digging for diamonds in Bloemfontein, and staying with a host family who had a maid in Cape Town. But what made this excursion the most sacred were the friendships I formed. Robin and Den-Ray were my girls on the trip. After we left Africa and were back in the states I probably called Robin everyday and Den-Ray invited me to the coolest birthday sleepover ever. 

As time passed and we got older we lost contact. Luckily, during my time in undergrad I was able to find them both on Facebook. You know back when Facebook was only for college students. I was even able to link up with Den-Ray at a bar before she moved to Georgia.


Though social media has become detrimental to social interaction I can say that it has helped me find people I've lost contact with over the years. I was able to follow Den-Ray's weight loss journey through social media as she lost over 175 pounds.  I was eager to pick her brain for any wisdom she might have to help me and other women like me who are actively trying to get fit.

Den-Ray encourages us to be confident in choosing to get fit, "It's okay to acknowledge you want to change yourself without hating yourself. Society tends to make it seem like a person can't be proud of who they are and work towards weight loss," she says. She's right, society will criticize you if you're fat and then criticize you for trying to lose weight. I call it the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" mentality. This mentality also breeds the notion that if you are an overweight woman you are unhappy and don't love yourself. Den-Ray explains that every woman is different, "It depends on the woman. I know women with a wealth of confidence and are both women who are larger and smaller than I am." However, Den-Ray admits that body image is something she struggles with, "I was not happy at my former size, but I'm still considered over weight and am very happy. I have body image issues, but again I think that's personal," she confesses.

So what moment triggered Den-Ray to begin her weight loss journey you might ask? "I didn't like the way I looked in a t-shirt and jeans" she states. "I spent too much time looking for clothing that wasn't the typical "plus sized" garb. You know, A-line dresses, v-neck t-shirts, and wrap dresses." Admittedly the plus size industry has improved over the years but the cost is high and the selection is limited.

Watching Den-Ray's journey she has remained steadfast and is reaching her goals and looking amazing in her new dresses! Like many women I wanted to know the secret formula to Den-Ray's success here's her advice: "start small and build momentum. Take all advice with a grain of salt, and build a network of support. Most of all forgive yourself if you mess up."

One of God's greatest gifts is giving me inspiration through the lives of my friends and family. Thank you Den-Ray for sharing your journey with the world and epitomizing strength, love, and most of all FAT Fortitude.

Den-Ray's Favorite Healthy Meal: "I love a good Caesar salad with grilled chicken, roasted brussels are my fave vegetable," she proclaims.

Den-Ray's Favorite Workout Exercises: "I love Zumba, but weight lifting gives me the best results," she says.

To learn more about Den-Ray's journey and to get advice visit her website at: The Century Journey.
IG: @thecenturyjourney

FAT Fortitude Diaries: Adding Insecurity To The List

Photo Credit: http://thatjeffcarterwashere.blogspot.com

Today I missed my training session with my trainer. I overslept having been up saying insomnia prayers Friday night till about 3 AM. A part of me is very disappointed I missed it because I have been developing a routine of waking up early on Saturdays, getting the workout over and done with, and having lots of energy for rest the day. Though I hate the whole process of working out, having that energy for a full day with a side of aching muscles, is a feeling I've learned to appreciate.

But another part of me is glad I missed it. As a FAT woman who is trying to get fit I realize I have some growing concerns that aren't really going away. I workout with whoever comes to the training session that day. I have developed a rapport with one of the ladies and I really like her. But she along with the other individuals in the session are always more fit than I am. They complete the exercises better and faster. I'm always the last person to finish the exercise rotation and though no one says anything I know I am holding the group up. It's even gotten to the point where sometimes I have to skip an exercise just to catch up. This honestly makes me feel disabled and incompetent. It's frustrating because I at least want to be able to keep up with the rest of the group. Even though I get a "Good job Cyn" acknowledgement from my trainer I know I didn't do a good job and it's only a formality. 

**This is a prime example of how my students who are English Language Learners or need differentiated learning techniques must feel when they are working at a different pace than other students in the class who might not have their same struggle.**

After speaking about it with one of my friends she said, "Cyn, I think in this case you may be a bit insecure..." Aaaaaah! Not insecure! Insecurity is a tough pill for me to swallow because I understand thoroughly the importance of exuding confidence and hate that I would ever come across as insecure. Insecurity is just another weakness to add to a list of personal weaknesses I wish didn't exist. 

But there's another way to look at insecurity. To be totally secure in something, you have to work at it and prove to yourself that you are capable and comfortable enough to dwell in whatever it may be. Everyone is insecure about something whether they choose to admit it or not. It's a very personal thing. So while being confidently secure is important it's not a bad thing to have a few insecurities. Security is the direct result of growth through fortitude. You have to fight for it. 

I swear I am so sick of fighting for everything I want in my life...but if I don't do it who will?

WORKOUT THIS WEEK

I worked out this week with my trainer on Wednesday. Another day of feeling incompetent but c'est la vie. It's my goal next week to work out once everyday. Pray my strength saints.

FOOD INTAKE THIS WEEK

I enjoy apple slices and peanut butter way too much. Peanut butter is disrespectful to my low calorie diet! I stayed on course this week. I went a little over 1500 calories on Thursday due to a radical purchase of chocolate graham crackers. Yea, I don't know what I was thinking on that one. Gone are the nights of sitting on the couch in my drawls with a bottle of Simply Lemonade and a box of chocolate Teddy Grahams watching Netfilx. But I will tell you one thing I am over ground turkey every damn week! I'm eating like my dentures ain't come in yet from the orthodontist and I have to live my life as a toothless nomad. Jesus take the fork!