Monday, April 29, 2019

Call To Action: Live With Unfolded Hands

Father to son:
"My dream is for you to live out your dreams. There's an old proverb that talks about when children are born, children come out with their fists closed because that's where they keep all their gifts. And as you grow, your hands learn to unfold, because you're learning to release your gifts to the world. And so, for the rest of your life, I wanna see you live with your hands unfolded." -Albert Sykes.
Painting by Larry Brown

Today I had the privilege of hearing this conversation Albert Sykes had with his son and instantly felt my tear ducts swell with what I like to call, "brilliance on tap." I wiped the overflow of brilliance from my cheeks and discreetly surveyed the room to which I saw others too wiping their excess free flowing liquid from their faces. This human core tug that many felt in the room had so many different layers to it, I'm certain. However, what connected each of us to Albert's conversation with his son is our innate ability to dream. And who isn't a sucker for a good proverb?


Well day has turned into night and I can't stop thinking about this proverb. 

The part of earth where I dwell has turned its back to the sun and I can't stop thinking Albert's dream for his son. 

I can't stop thinking about my dreams. 

I can't stop thinking about the men and women in that room today who felt the same wave of emotion I felt. 

I can't help but wonder what their dreams are? 

Admittedly, I was apprehensive about writing about this experience because dissecting a proverb feels real Black-Missionary-Baptist-Church-of-GOD-in-Christ-African-Methodist-Episcopal-Zion-Howard University-School-of-Divinity-esq to me and I ain't nobody's Bishop-Pastor-Reverend-Doctor-Evangelist-Deacon-Clergy-Priest ok? But every meaningful experience or body of work deserves to be dissected, discussed, and documented. I realize I can't stop thinking about this proverb because it is actually a call to action. One that I need to take heed to in my life. 

Like most babies I was born with closed fists. I've seen my alien-esq baby photo all clinched up with nowhere to go. I did gradually learn to open my hands. At the surface this proverb seems to tell no lies. By Elementary school I had my hand wide open asking for things mostly but I began sharing my gifts with my community. Even though I would have loved the luxury of hiding my gifts my Mother didn't allow it. She made sure I was sharing my gifts at any and every church or school function. I hated it. What the proverb doesn't include is what happens to you once your hands are open and your gifts are exposed. There's no mention of the strength one must have to withstand society's toxic bullshit especially towards the gifted. I didn't have the tools to deal with the toxicity I faced. So I began hiding behind the holographic form of my gifts. No depth. No growth. No connection. Just reused and recycled routines, the same prose, the same dance, the same song, the same monologue. I wasn't challenged. I didn't take risks. I wasn't using my gifts to evoke any sort change. I did enough to make those dreaming for me happy. I watched others live out their dreams and labeled my own as unattainable. I hid from society's judgement. I dwelled in discomfort. I used my gifts as the excuse to form my own negative self narrative, instead of using my gifts to heal me and the people who hurt me. I was now 30, I knew how to unfold my hands but was much more content on resealing the closed fist.

It is a great risk:
To act on your dreams. 
To find the beauty in fear and lean in on it. 
To not just orate the desire to level up but to actually believe that you can. 

It's even harder not to allow your self-inflicted timeline of dream fruition sentence you as a permanent failure.

The proverb states, "as you grow, your hands learn to unfold, because you're learning to release your gifts to the world." To release your gifts is to liberate them from confinement. To set them free. Whether the world accepts or not is not your cross to bear. Being free to create and share and realize your dreams is your life's purpose. 

My shift in thinking began two years ago when hiding my gifts became more painful than society's opinions. There are still days I want to reseal and hide but my purpose is greater than my self doubt.  I wholeheartedly receive this call to action as further motivation to actively pursue my dreams and share my gifts with the world.

I choose to live unconfined and liberated with unfolded hands.