& here we are...
entering a new year.
I've noticed every year people post to social media about how bad the year was for them. Those posts always make me sad. This confession that out of 365 days, there are more moments that bought them angst than joy is heartbreaking. We all live with the hope that our lives honor our best selves. Life will inevitably bring hard times, trust me I know, but in honoring your best self life will gift moments of joy both old and new. These joys have a right to be apart of the cover art to your biography.
2019 for me did just that. She brought me joys both old and new.
- I finished the first stage of a documentary I’m working on.
- I traveled to Ghana with my family to celebrate my Nana’s 90th birthday.
- A poem I wrote was apart of #50in50 and was performed in NYC and LA by award winning actresses.
- My film, Critical Missing, made its way through a few film festivals and showcases.
- I found an amazing grant writer who helped me conceptualize all these dreams and goals I have into a wonderful portfolio. As a result, I was awarded 3 grants that will help fund some of my 2020 artistic efforts.
- I was given the opportunity to be apart of an AD fellowship and got to witness first hand the ins and outs of how a professional theater and show runs.
- I strengthened both old and new friendships which I am really happy about.
- I still am a full time God Mommy during the week and I’m really proud of myself for forging through a very hard yet extremely rewarding responsibility.
- The latter half of the year I completed a Ph.D application and I’m excited about the possibilities of this program.
- I was asked to be one of my closest friend’s bridesmaid. That meant more to me than she’ll ever know. I’m so happy to support and pray with her on her marriage journey.
- I got to perform at the Kennedy Center. Such a big deal to me.
- My students, colleagues, and parents nominated me for the Excellence in Theater Education Tony Award. I didn’t win but ya girl can add Tony-nominated to her resume.
- I was nominated for a Kennedy Center award by someone I adore. I hope I get it!
There were of course moments in 2019 that I like to say, “grew me.”
- You know the quote, “when people show you who they are believe them?” Well confession, I rarely do and that’s something that grew me this year. I found myself this year overlooking signs that people didn’t have my best interest at heart but I chose me and discontinued those relationships immediately.
- I also learned first hand that a lot of doctors can not serve Black women, especially those of us who are "overweight." It’s a scary thought for sure, but I am more aware of it and have taken my health related issues serious enough to research before speaking and finding homeopathic solutions.
- I learned that I allowed myself to feel inadequacies in introversion. Society is more receptive to extroversion and when my therapist at the time challenged me to activate that side of me more I took it seriously. But it wasn’t helpful. I’ve grown to understand that introversion doesn’t mean you are inadequate or deficient. I’m more than capable to do the things I want to do in life and I don’t have to do a 180 to mirror that of societal norms. If someone wants to date me, go out, build a friendship with me that will happen naturally whether I’m introverted or not. Being who I am is a benefit not a deficit.
As always I have so many goals for 2020. But in living so long I realize that my goals often fall short of the big plans God has for my life. For instance I’ll say, I want the opportunity to direct professionally and God will put a whole fellowship in my lap with financial remuneration. So I’m not going to announce new goals for the new year. I’m just going to continue to pray, practice patience, work hard and watch God move. I know she got me!
Happy New Year everyone. I pray that your joys in 2020 exceeds your expectations.
With all my love,
Creme
