On anxiety, discrimination, and being flagged at the gate on an empty flight
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I was told to buy an extra seat on an empty plane. That was just the beginning.
Every day, there is something happening in the world that leaves me perplexed, wondering how this moment we are living in now will shape our future. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little skeptical about what the future even looks like given the state of our country.
I had to hop a flight recently, and the anxiety was already sitting with me before I even packed my bag. And it wasn’t just me being dramatic. It was everything happening around air travel right now.
News reports about long TSA lines. Announcements about ICE agents being present in airports across the country. Videos circulating of passengers of size being forced to give up their seats, pay for additional ones at the gate, or even being removed from flights altogether because of new airline policies.
And on top of all of that, safety concerns. Reports of air traffic controller shortages. Stories of near misses. And that devastating crash where a plane collided with a fire truck on the runway, killing the pilots. A tragedy tied, in part, to the lack of adequate air traffic staffing.
So yes, my anxiety was through the roof.
I first started paying attention to this last year through content creator, Samyra, who often speaks out about fatphobia and the ways companies fail to consider plus-size consumers. She shared an experience where her Southwest ticket was taken while she was trying to get from Los Angeles to New Orleans because of her size. Day of, she had to go to the Delta counter and buy a completely new ticket just to make it on time.
And let’s pause there, because everyone does not have that kind of instant cash flow. People plan trips months in advance to stay within their budgets. That kind of disruption is not just inconvenient. It’s financially destabilizing for many consumers especially in this economy.
Of course, the internet, which loves to dismiss and discredit, especially when it comes to outspoken Black women, chalked her experience up to being “another one of her fat girl antics.” But for those of us living in larger bodies, we understood exactly what she was saying. I know I did. And I started paying attention.
Since then, more and more people have come forward with similar experiences of being targeted by Southwest because of their size. The stories are consistent. Confusion at the gate. Last-minute seat changes. Public flagging. Pressure to purchase additional seats under stress.
And what’s also telling is who gets listened to.
Southwest reportedly requested a meeting with one passenger who spoke out, a white male. But Samyra, and other passengers of color sharing similar experiences, were not afforded that same opportunity.
That tells its own story.
So by the time I got to the airport last week, all of that was already sitting with me.
When I reached the airport to depart, I flew out of DCA, and everything was smooth. No long lines. TSA was easy. I didn’t see any indication of ICE presence. I flew American Airlines on a smaller American Eagle plane and wasn’t approached about my size at all.
Returning back to DC, TSA was still smooth. No visible ICE presence again. This time, though, I was flying Southwest Airlines, and that’s when things shifted.
Before I even get into what happened, I want to say this. There was a time when I felt Southwest was one of the most accommodating airlines in the business. I remember when they had a policy that allowed passengers of size to have the seat next to them for comfort. Not just for larger bodies, but for accessibility needs, families, and the elderly. It felt humane. I even wrote about in my blog in 2015.
Now, with this shift to assigned seating, new baggage fees, and these size-based policies, it feels like a completely different airline.
And let’s be clear. When I say “size,” I mean fat. Because if you’re tall and your knees are in the back of a seat but you’re still thin, nobody says a word. Fatness is what’s being policed.
Check-in was smooth. I prepaid my bag, printed my labels, dropped it off, no issues. TSA, again, easy. I got to my gate early, sat down, and waited to board. Everything felt normal.
Then boarding started.
I got in line with my group, walked up to scan my ticket, and the machine made a strange noise. The agent paused, looked at his screen, and said, “You’ll need to step over to the desk. Your seat number on your ticket doesn’t match what we have in the system. Your seat has been switched.”
I walked over and immediately saw the woman at the desk already on the phone. I glanced back and saw the gate agent was also on the phone. So clearly, this wasn’t random.
She handed me a new ticket.
9B.
I asked, “Is this a window or an aisle seat?”
She said, “No, it’s a middle seat.”
I said, “Do you have anything else? That’s not what I originally requested. Why was I moved?”
That’s when the energy shifted. You could see the anxiety in her. She started clicking her mouse like her life depended on it, frantic, aggressive clicking for a solid three minutes. Then she called for a manager.
And my spirit said, here we go with the bullshit.
The manager comes over, looks at the same screen she’s been wrestling with, and says, “You’re good. This is your seat.”
I said, “I would prefer an aisle or window like I originally selected. Why was my seat changed?”
He says, “You were originally placed in the exit row, but you won’t be permitted to sit there because of your size. You’ll also need to purchase an additional seat.”
So now I’m looking at him like, is this real? I never had an exit row seat. I would not have chosen. Having flown a million times before in this body, I know airlines won’t let fat people sit in an emergency exit row.
I asked, “Is the flight full? Because if I need to buy an extra seat, that means other seats are available, right? I want an aisle or window seat.”
He checks again and says, “The row is actually empty.”
I said, “So you’re about to charge me for an additional seat on an empty plane?”
Silence.
The agent is still clicking. And the manger is pointing at the screen. He’s hovering over her shoulder like even he doesn’t understand what system they’re operating.
I said, “What exactly are you looking at? Because I would like to board this plane, but I don’t want to sit in a middle seat unnecessarily.”
At this point, the confusion and that relentless clicking were grating. What the hell were they doing, playing Oregon Trail?
Finally, he says, “You know what, the flight is pretty empty, so let’s just proceed with this. When you get on, your row should be empty. But in the future, you will need to purchase an additional seat.”
I walk away from the counter and get on the plane.
Window seat. Empty row.
I look around and it seems like most people have entire rows to themselves.
So this whole interaction was unnecessary. I didn’t need to be singled out. I didn’t need to be flagged. I didn’t need to be told to spend more money for space that was already available.
And that’s the thing. Every story I hear about this policy includes confusion, inconsistency, and public call-outs.
Travel should not feel like this.
It should be ease, especially when you’ve done everything in your power to prepare for it.
This policy is discriminatory. The behavior was discriminatory. And honestly, it’s giving class action lawsuit.
I spoke to another man of size on the plane. He was sitting a row ahead of me. I asked about his experience at the gate. He said, “Not today,” because he found a workaround.
He changed the email on his Southwest account in case it had been flagged in their system because of a previous encounter. He only flies Southwest without checked bags because he feels that’s where he was targeted before when he was checking his bags. He said he also avoids sitting at the gate so agents don’t have time to assess and single him out.
So now we’re playing airline travel Tetris just to get from point A to point B.
And that’s unacceptable.
At this point, I’m trying to figure out if I can transfer my Southwest points to somebody else, because I’m about to be out here selling them like ya’ll be selling ya’ll food stamps.
I’m not doing all of that.
And I definitely don’t deserve that after years of flying with them.
