What's Going On: Helping Our Girls to Dream

Painting by: Lynette Yiadom-Boakye

I was talking with a friend about a group of girls at the school where she teaches. She worries about their future, assessing that they are in “social mayhem” constantly, and it seems to dominate their thoughts. “What’s going on with these girls, Cyn? Their lives are already hard, and all they talk about with any clarity are relationships with boys and fighting other girls. I don’t think they’ll ever see the treasure chest that life can bring.” 

Immediately, I thought about my goddaughter and a few of my former students. In For Colored Girls, Ntozake Shange writes:

i usedta live in the world  

then i moved to HARLEM  

& my universe is now six blocks.

This is the issue. Many of our inner-city kids are confined to their six-block universe. This is their reality, and they struggle to see beyond it. They aren't given the luxury and space to dream of anything other than a knight in shining armor to save them. They miss out on the joys of childhood because they have to navigate very adult challenges just to survive. It’s heartbreaking.

My own childhood wasn’t perfect, but I had the privilege of space and time to dream, thanks to my parents who navigated my six blocks for me. I didn’t have to cook for myself, take care of younger siblings, or even walk to school if I didn’t want to. In my free time, my parents made sure I participated in programs, traveled, went to church, and watched shows like The Cosby Show and A Different World, which helped me envision a world beyond my neighborhood. “We were privileged AF!” I told my friend, emphasizing the importance of checking ourselves when working with these young girls who lack similar support.

Recently, I asked my goddaughter what college she wants to go to, as the Delta Gems application requests the ladies' top three choices. “I don’t know,” she replied. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I inquired. “I don’t know,” she said again. A knot formed in my throat, and I wondered, “Has she stopped dreaming?” At 14, I didn’t know what college I wanted to attend either, but if anyone asked, I’d say, “Hillman!” Because of A Different World and that's where Dorian "the so fine" went. I also wanted to be a psychiatrist because of Dr. Alvin Poussaint's appearance on The Cosby Show. Dreams can change so much in childhood, and that’s the beauty of it. I dreamed so much that I didn’t truly face reality until my late twenties, but that’s a story for another day.

To my friend, and to all teachers and caregivers working with children, my advice is to carve out a short daily window for our kids to dream and imagine lives beyond their six-block radius. Encourage them to discuss their dreams out loud. Hearing each other’s aspirations can foster friendships and inspire personal visions. The kids will be alright if the adults in their lives strive to be better in their own lives. It's imperative that we all are intentional about helping children see a world beyond their six blocks and gift them the space and time to dream.