Bridgerton: Pretty Ball Gowns Masking Improprieties

**There are a couple spoilers enclosed. **

Ok, I think I’ve waited long enough to talk about Netflix’s Bridgerton. Take me to Shondaland any day! Anything Shonda Rhimes touches and Julie Andrews narrates is worth the binge in my eyes. Bridgerton doesn't  disappoint. It gave what any good period drama should give: loaded character development, aesthetically beautiful costuming and sets, and humpentry.

Yeah, I made that word up. Humpentry is when actors hump like they are doing carpentry work in sex scenes.

Bridgerton also has the heir of discountenance on everyone and everything. That's needed in every good English period piece. It was also nice to see brown faces in the mix of the story. The writers managed to create a dystopian alternative to England 1813 where racism didn’t seem to blatantly exist. Charming. 

Yeah, I wrote charming in an English discountenance accent. 

All in all I did quite enjoy Bridgerton. 

Yeah, the accent is still lingering. Sorry.

I’ve already been binge watching The Crown so adding another show set in England was right up my alley. Lady Whistledown is my favorite character. I screamed at the reveal even though I began doing process of elimination early on and assumed it was her. I love that it’s her! That brings so much more depth to the story. Oh yes, Regé-Jean Page who plays Simon Basset, Duke of Hastings is foooiiine. But ya’ll done talked about his fine assetry (another made up word) to death honey!

I did however, have serious issues with the storyline that I’ve been wrestling with for quite sometime now. Bridgerton is set during the Regency era where girls are presented to the royal court as debutantes. They are then presented to the available upper echelon bachelors with the hopes to be chosen as a wife. During this era a debutante could be presented to the royal court as young as 12 years old. When a girl starts her period she is deemed ready for the debutante process because her body is seemingly ready to conceive and bare children. 

You cringing yet? 

No? 

Well, I am! 

I cringed at 14-16 years young Daphne being told to “touch” herself at night by college graduate 21-23 year old Simon. I skipped their whole honeymoon sex scenes. I teared up when she had to run and ask Rose, her maid, how children are conceived. I yelled with her in the scene with her mother when she ridiculed her for not telling her anything about sex or marriage.  Sis just threw her child into an approved a pedephilia arrangement without giving her any guidance! Approved because it's accepted by society. 

Society's approval in every era has been of detriment to generations. But that's a whole other blog post for another time, chile. 

I think what upsets me most about the storyline is that though this formal process of pimping girls doesn’t occur anymore it’s still happening in various ways in 2021. 

• Instead of debutante balls girls are now being snatched and trafficked. 
• Girls aren't being supervised by adults who have their best interest at heart. 
• Girls aren’t being taught about their body, its changes, or how to navigate through hormonal feelings. 
• Girls aren’t being taught about sex and sexuality. 
• Girls aren't taught about healthy interactions with their peers.
• Girls aren't taught about the meaning of friendship.
• Girls aren't taught about dating.
• Girls aren’t taught to claim and affirm autonomy over every part of themselves. 
• Girls are still being prepped for male satisfaction.

Girls are left to figure things out on their own which causes them a lifetime of trauma.

It’s gut wrenching. It’s infuriating. It’s depressing.

So though Bridgerton is a fictitious account of historical happenings in society. The way many girls are handled, raised, and treated in today’s society isn’t that different. The only difference is that there isn't the luxury of pretty ball gowns masking improprieties.

So, what are we going to do about it?

Pandemic Travels: ¡Por el amor de México!

I've joined the list of cabin fever humans who traveled to Mexico during the pandemic. Listen, I was nervous just like many of you are who haven't taken that leap. But I do want to share my experience with readers who are toiling with the notion of hopping a flight to an island somewhere soon.

I want to start by recognizing the people of Mexico whose country, like the rest of the world,  was shut down for 5-6 months. Mexico, where the majority of its citizens make their living through tourism. Mexico, whose government did not provide their citizens any form of stimulus or unemployment. So when you land in Mexico with your mind set on the beach and margaritas, take a moment to remember that the people of Mexico are excited to see you and to serve you because they have been income less for months. Even now that the country is open, the hotels and resorts are only at 30% capacity, if that. So revenue is cut drastically. Keep that at the forefront of your mind when you travel. Make it a priority to tip and tip well. I am terrible at taking cash on trips even though I travel a lot. So if you are like me, I get it. Remind yourself to take some cash on your trip solely for tipping. 

My Mommy and I set en route to Cancún via United Airlines. The flight arriving to Cancún had more people than the flight departing. Both flights had several empty rows and seats. United offered lots of sanitizing wipes for customers to use aboard the plane which I appreciated because I am more of a wipes girl. Ya'll can't tell me that these hand sanitizers are created equal when some of them feel like that "sticky icky icky icky!" 

But let's move on chile.

Everyone adhered to the mask requirement. Thank God! A long with my mask I wore a Lincoln Electric face shield I bought from Amazon. I love this face shield because it adjusts well to my big ole' head and hair and it’s anti fog and scratch resistant. There’s nothing sleek or sexy about it, unless you are into kinky helmet action. If so, this is the product for you beloved! You will be serving helmet queen but you will be a safe helmet queen, purrrr! Do you need a shield? I honestly don’t feel it’s necessary to have one but if you want to take the extra precautionary measure to ease the traveling tension then get it! You will feel safe. United also offered an all in one snack bag which had a cookie-esq snack item, petit pretzels, and an 8.5 fl oz bottle of Dasani. In addition to the prepackaged snack bag, flight attendants also did their standard non alcoholic drink service. Instead of a cup of your favorite libation, they gave travelers a full can for their bladders to enjoy.

Once we arrived to Cancún, which I now want to call the Island of Sanitization, because sanitizing measures are plentiful! Whenever we boarded transportation our hands, bags, and shoes were sprayed. Before stepping into common areas at the resort you had to step onto a pad of disinfectant. Those serving had hand sanitizer ready to kiss your palms with. They not disinfecting shoes in the US at least not in DC. Correct me if I’m wrong. 

As a fat Black woman there are lots of things I have to mentally prepare for when traveling. Aside from the stares and side comments in native tongues I'm in constant battle with my inner thoughts. 

Confession: there is an adventurer living inside of me. 

I call her Nine Ball. Can you name that movie? Sis always wants to do something adventurous on vacation. Always up to no good. Always wit the shits. Like, she doesn’t let up! I have to tell her to pipe down cause weight limits are real. Her response, "who cares?" I'll never forget on one trip she jet skied in Hawaii for hours and then fell off the ski into the ocean tired AF! So I actually don’t have the tolerance for sis. She’s annoying! Anyway, she pulled her usual shenanigans and signed me up to accompany her to Xplor Park. My Mommy signed up too. God bless my mother because we both had no idea what we had gotten ourselves into. We had to hike through caves for miles. Five days later and my legs are still hurting! But boy oh boy it was an amazing feat! If you are in Cancún and want some adventure fun I’d highly suggest Xplor Park. Fat woman to fat woman: our bodies are capable. It may be harder, but we are able to do it all at our own pace. I did everything in the park except zip lining. Even though one of the guides tried to encourage me it would be fine, I couldn't push myself to do it. Nine Ball was bout it but I talked her overzealous ass right on down. I don’t trust my weight on nobody’s line unless Jesus is on the main line. 

Things to think about when traveling during the pandemic:

• Backpack it! Carry a backpack with you on excursions. In it have an extra pair of clothes, sweater, shoes, sanitizer, water, masks.
• Be aware but not panicky. Observe your surroundings, wash your hands, and wear a mask religiously. But don’t make yourself sick by panicking. It’s a more health conscious vacation but it’s still a vacation nonetheless. Enjoy every moment even through this new norm.
• If you head to Mexico be kind to the citizens. Say, "hola" and "gracias." Have empathy. Tip! 
• We stayed at the Occidental at Xcaret. It's a beautiful resort with great service! If you choose to stay at the Occidental you will be staying in the middle of the Riviera Maya surrounded by nature. Not even surrounded by, you are in the thick of it! A monkey will greet you in the morning on your balcony. My only critique is that the resort wasn’t handicapped friendly. Be intentional when booking your lodging. Think about everyone in your party and choose a place that will support their needs.

Fun Activities?

Xpá in Xcaret - Lots of walking through Xcaret Park to get there but once there you take a little boat across the lagoon to have a full body massage under a waterfall. 

Xplor River Swim - Swimming through a cave is an experience I won’t forget. You should try it. Lots of walking to get to the entry of the river swim.

I’m thankful to have spent this time with my Mommy and to return to the US unscathed and under a new administration. Pretty soon we all will be back to traveling on overbooked flights, long lines at the parks, and fighting over cabanas at the beach. Ahhh the things we take for granted, right? Traveling during a pandemic is most definitely a risk. But so is going to the grocery store given the times we are living in. So go now masked up or go later with the vaccine, choose what's best for you. Just make sure to add Mexico to the list of places to go. I've been to Cozumel and now Cancún twice. There are over 100 islands you could see in Mexico. You won't be disappointed.

My Next Trip?

I need to go “home” to New Orleans to recalibrate after a tumultuous year. 

Abroad? I’m not sure yet...but I definitely want to head back to Cuba once 46 opens the borders back up. 

Heaux Tales: Liberation Through Music

Happy New Year!

I am just returning home to DC post Christmas, New Years, and Insurrection Wednesday. Ain’t nothing like a hot cup of white privilege to get the New Year started right?

I came home to unopened presents under the tree and the new highly anticipated Jazmine Sullivan album, Heaux Tales. I downloaded it immediately! Listen, I’ve been waiting for another album from Jazzy (she’s my BFF who I call Jazzy in my head) since her 2015 release, Reality Show. Baby, it was 6 years worth the wait! I was already on the edge of my seat when her singles, Lost One and Pick Up Your Feelings dropped. So, having the whole album readily available and on repeat makes me so happy!

What I appreciate most about Jazzy aside from her raspy soulful sound is her ability to write songs that tell stories. Stories of women, Black women specifically that connect us even through difference. If you haven’t listened to the album it is a musical retelling of story truths women shared about sex, love, relationships, needs and wants. Women who usually are forthcoming about these things, especially sex, are labeled “hoes” in society thus pinning the album title, Heaux Tales.

This album comes at a very interesting time for me. During quarantine I’ve been reflecting a lot about who I am as a woman in the world and for the first time including sex and sexuality in this reflection. This began when I attended a live discussion titled, The Pleasure Palace: Black Women Celebrating our Body-Temples. My sistren, Hazel Cherry, was one of the panelists so I slid on Zoom that day in support of her not expecting to be challenged to reassess how I view myself and body. Let me pause here to say, Hazel is a graduate of the Howard School of Divinity and I have to shout out the women of Howard who are shining in this season! It’s crazy because Hazel and the majority of the panelists all grew up in church, as did I. Church conditions us into believing that sexual thoughts and sex before marriage is wrong and you could be damned to hell if you did it. This notion silences women into fear of some sort of salacious eternal damnation and or ridicule from their congregations. Hazel, lended her voice and research to counter this narrative engrained in so many of us. “Pleasure is a fruit of the Spirit” she professed. From that first live discussion I began journaling and researching lessons learned from this book of life governing fables that we call The Bible. I also attended quite a few more discussions centered around the same theme. I even shared some of the findings and takeaways from the discussions with my Mom, who in her own right is a theologian, and she eagerly gave me her perspective.

I had to step away from how I was raised, and really decide who I am and want to be in this world. My list is coveted with attributes like honest, responsible, and creative which are important to me. But I also feel the importance of acknowledging within my attributes that I am: 

• a woman who is a sexual being
• a woman who is worthy of pleasure 
• a woman who is desirable
• a woman developing an understanding of who she is beyond Christian rhetoric

These things can also coexist with my insurmountable love of and relationship with God. I can also rest assured that God won’t ever stop loving me because of it.

Heaux Tales further aligns this for me in that it liberates these women’s stories. They didn’t need to create a “safe space” to share because who they are shouldn’t be silent, afraid, or hidden. If “judge your mother” was an album this would be it. Of course I wouldn’t be who I was if I didn’t read reviews of the album. While I was reading a review and simultaneously listening to Candice Benbow’s live, a woman asked Candice in the comments what she should do because she doesn’t have a Heaux Tale but wants one. I screamed! The vulnerability it took even ask that question! Liberation brings forth vulnerability and courage to talk freely not only about our experiences but our internal desires. You know the ones we keep on the hush hush.

At 37 years still growing, I don’t have a Heaux Tale either. I spent the majority of my life in fear of most things pertaining to sex and sexuality. I had thoughts of course, but I was one of these girls whose church upbringing coupled with childhood trauma and my growing anxiety that I find myself today having never had intercourse or being able to curate a Heaux Tale. I’ve listened with popcorn, and laughed with my friends as they shared their Heaux Tales. Hell, this blog was birthed through watching my friends live their heaux-full lives while I held their purses! Now, I’m not saying I’m going to run out here and bussit wide open for Pimp. However, after hearing this album, which in my opinion mirrors what the panelists in these live discussions have said, it has initiated an unlearning and redefining within. It's definitely time to let go of my own self imprisonment. Choosing pleasure it is not a death sentence. And being judged and ridiculed for choosing to be open about this choice is the burden of the ridiculer. This album is for all women, Heaux Tale or not, to be empowered to liberate their truth from silence and share their truths with each other. We could learn so much from each other if we collectively committed to being open, honest, and non judgmental. 

My favorite songs on the album? So glad you asked!  Listen, I can listen straight through. Candles lit, a good cocktail, some cannabis, and coast. No skipping. But just for you, I’d say my 2 favorite songs are:

Lost One and On It featuring my other BFF, Ari Lennox. I was drawn to Lost One upon its initial single release. All I could think about was the rawness of this woman's pleading with the person she’s broken up with. “Don’t have too much fun without me," Jazzy croons. “Try not to love no one,” the song cries. Still being in love after a break up is real. So real, right? On the album we hear the story behind the song in the interlude Rashida’s Tale. Rashida talks about being engaged to a woman, cheating on her, and the immense pain she felt because of the pain she inflicted on someone she loved so much. This story sharing opens up a whole new way to digest that song.

On it to me is raw and raunchy. I love it. It’s necessary because in R&B we mostly hear men singing about what they want to do to women’s bodies. But dammit you gonna hear from Jazzy and Ari what they wanna do to this man’s body, ok? If Pretty Ricky can whine, "let me lick you up and down till you say stop" then Jazzy and Ari can for sure proclaim that they want to, "spit on it." And the riffs in this song? The riffs alone deserve a Nobel Peace Prize! I'm just saying.

My priority these days is to actively seek joy, continue to live life wholly and representative of what I want my legacy to be. Acknowledging that sexuality is apart of living wholly has truly opened my eyes. Thank you Hazel and Candice for leading discussions on women, sex, and theology. Thank you Jazzy for this album in a season of solace and rediscovery. I can’t wait till outside opens back up and I can see participate in these conversations in person and see Jazzy live in concert!

To The FAT Bridesmaid

For awhile now I’ve been talking about being a bridesmaid in one of my closest friends, Ashley’s wedding. I even hash tagged  #Fatbridesmaid on a few posts leading up to her special day. I’ve never been a bridesmaid before so when Ashley "proposed" to me along with a few other ladies I wept like Jesus. It was truly an honor. With pretty much anything I commit to, I was really serious about following through with my responsibilities as a bridesmaid. "You too serious," my Mommy told me one day. It was important to me to gift back the love, friendship, and support Ashley has given me throughout the 18 years of knowing her. It also humbled me into a state of reflection of how I feel about and treat myself. Being a Black woman in the world brings so many challenges. Add being FAT to the Black woman’s load and those challenges triple. So, I spent much of my time internally worrying about those challenges. Yes, sometimes my anxiety knows no boundaries.Weddings are inherently aesthetically beautiful. If you don’t know anything else about my friend Ashley, I need you to over stand that if aesthetic had a picture next to it in the dictionary, her high fashion magazine spread would take its rightful place next to it. 

But how would I find a place in this aesthetic? 

Of course my insecurities about my weight surfaced. I questioned myself everyday. And everyday I countered it telling myself we (Gemini) can’t live the rest of our lives sunken in self doubt. We’ve got to live! So I dragged my self doubting ass to every bridesmaid meeting, meetup, preparation. When the bridesmaid dress was chosen I worried about bridal/evening wear running the race from China and not fitting me and I’d be embarrassed. The bridesmaid's robes too. But I ran the Black FAT woman race with diligence and speed. I called a plus size bridal boutique, Curvaceous Couture,  poured my dilemma into the lap of the woman on the phone who said, "you are already winning baby, everybody isn't as forward thinking with the big girl struggle and end up panicking day of." She pointed me in the direction of Maria at Anytime Alterations. Maria handled me and that dress with care. I Jesus wept again at my final fitting. The dress fit and I didn't have to wear a bra! For the bridesmaids robes I bought silk undergarments and demanded my inner self to push through no matter what. For the rehearsal dinner my dress was too big! Like what? When does that ever happen? The shit was falling off of me. And listen, I've been in quarantine not letting up on the snacks so I know I didn't lose that much weight. UGH!

The day of the wedding I walked internally panicking but externally proud down the aisle. Back was killing me and mask smothering me but for 20 minutes I stood by a woman who has stood with and up for me when I needed her.

I was proud.

The groom, Kareem, pulled me to the side, put his arm around me and said, "Cindi, you are one of the most genuine people I have ever met." 

When he let go...

You guessed it...

I went to the bathroom and Jesus wept!

Knowing that who I want to be in this world is understood by those I encounter matters to me so much.

In the midst of it all I walk away from this experience having made bonds with lots of the other women in Ashley’s life. I was named honorary line sister of Delta Chi Spring ‘05. 🤣 Bonds formed in love and not trauma tend to last forever and I’m so happy I met such an amazing group of women.

Ashley’s wedding was indeed the event of the year. Everyone knows 2020 wasn’t "hittin' on nuffin'" but the Hendricks Love Story has proven it can withstand anything even a pandemic.

Thank you my Ashy for allowing me to be a part of your special day and seeing the aesthetic in me when I didn’t quite see it myself.

I love you forever Mrs. Hendricks.

To the FAT Bridesmaid my only advice is not to cave to the limits you place on yourself. You can do it all.

Fall is Here - Ain't No Tellin' What She's Got up Her Long Sleeves.

I am not a fan of Fall. You can keep the strange chill in the air, tree defecation by way of foliage everywhere, and Karen and her pumpkin spice.I do love Fall for its impeccable fashion sense, photographical nights, apple picking, fire pits, nature’s art, and kiddos in their Halloween costumes. 

Oh, and I did like the pumpkin cookies Ms. Newton used to make at my childhood church.

Fall interrupts the freedom of Summer. Pedicured toes sinking in warm sand as the ocean whispers rejuvenation. Maxi dresses and window seat views to anywhere but here. Watermelon cocktails, goosebumps in central air, and passionate sun kisses on melanin hydrated skin. Not to mention the pandemic stole Summer’s whole essence and Fall vaingloriously slid in with the rebound. 

My Daddy died in the Fall of October. He was the true definition of chill. Too chill. Chiller than Fall and not in a strange way. Just relaxed. Centered. I used to watch the reflection of the TV flicker on my Daddy's face. His Blackness was strong, unmovable. I think he knew that but was never one to gloat. He was stubborn and proud. Don’t piss him off though because that chill could transform in to a sweet sounding verbal annihilation in a millisecond. I’m honestly, a carbon copy of the man. Fall stole him too. Gave him back to the Most High. I honestly don’t blame her though he was the man to be around. I’d steal him back in a heartbeat.

Fall is death. 

The slow burn of change. 

Fall is music no beat.

Festivals no heat. 

Trick or treat.

Fall is spooky.

Fall is fury. 

Fall is side eye talks around turkey dinners. 

Fall is mouth shut - internal simmers. 

Winter’s closest friend. 

Summer’s untimely end.

Fall is panic driven election season. 

Fear of a race war.

Keep your ear to the ground.

Keep your prayers in warrior mode.

Fall is here. Ain't no tellin' what she's got up her long sleeves.

#WeAreDoneDying: It's Different This Time

Art by: Markus Tyree

Usually it takes me awhile to process occurrences that happen in society. I can confidently say that I understand the human condition especially from an empathetic lens. I, however, struggle with being empathetic when the human condition manifests itself into deplorable human acts. At the top of the list of deplorable human acts that I can not process or empathize with is racism. I have gone so far as to do extensive research on what happens in the brain of a racist. I often wonder what causes them to act in such heinous ways? I have not been successful in my research.

I am also one of the many people who watched the videos of police officers murdering unarmed Black and brown men and women. Some of the videos I watched over a dozen times. I watched seeking understanding and hoping for some sort of guidance that would prevent me and my brother from being killed by the police. I never gained the understanding or guidance sought. Not an ounce.

What I did see was:

Trayvon Martin (killed by a "night watchmen") trying to get home from the store. Followed. Scuffled for his life. Shot.
Micheal Brown on his knees with his hands up in the air. Shot.
Philando Castile reaching for his license. Shot. His girlfriend and her child in the car.
Alton Sterling linebacker ransacked. Fell to ground. Police on top of him. Lying on his back. Shot.
Ahmaud Arbery out for a run. Followed. Guns drawn. Scuffled for his life. Shot.
Walter Scott running in fear away from a drawn gun. Shot.
Tamir Rice playing with a petal gun alone in the park. Sitting alone in park. Police arrive. Shot.
Jermey McDole sitting in his wheel chair. Shot.
Freddie Gray handcuffed. Dragged. Thrown into a police van. No seatbelt. Coma. Died.
Eric Garner communicating, "I CAN'T BREATHE," while officers kept him in a chokehold. Stopped breathing. Died.
George Floyd communicating, "I CAN'T BREATHE," while officers kept him pinned to the ground. One officer had his knee on his neck for over 8 minutes. Stopped breathing. Died.

These videos haunt me everyday.

As a Black woman, I can't help but also be haunted by the murders of fellow Black women just like me. Aiyana Stanley-Jones, Tanisha Anderson, Atatiana Jefferson, Charleena Lyles, Breonna Taylor and so many others whose names are buried with their bodies. Black women rally around our Black men without hesitancy but our names seem to often be an after thought, if thought of at all.

I, along with my community, are traumatized and tired. So the current state of unrest is not a surprise. Protests, boycotts, riots, marches, looting, speeches, letters, and GoFund Me pages happened after all of the deaths that made it to mainstream media. "But this time feels different," I've heard many say.

Here's what I believe is the reason why this time feels different:

2020 arrived with the hope of perfect vision that would lead us through the new year. I saw many people proclaiming this was going to be their year, nothing was going to stop them, and vision boarding the hell out of any self doubt. The answer to our prayers of newfound success and opportunities were met with COVID-19 and worldwide stay at home orders. This prompted disappointment and a condemning of 2020 and her motives. Quarantine, in my opinion, was meant to be a gift of a reset. For once the world had a moment to take a break from it's sick, sad, self that had worsened throughout each decade. There was now time to realign with our individual humanity. Get back in touch with our core values. Find new ways to reach our goals.

But even in quarantine white privilege and supremacy continued to rear its ugly head. The Black community was not afforded the same luxury to solely rest, love up on our families, and fully take advantage of this reset quarantine offered like the white community. We watched with anxiety the coronavirus death toll numbers rise disproportionately in our community. We were met with live footage on social media from Ohio federal prison inmate, Aaron Campbell, who begged for help saying, "they literally leaving us in here to die," and zoomed in on his bunkmate wheezing for air allegedly suffering from coronavirus. We then became virtual witnesses to the murder of Ahmaud Arbery as he was gunned down in broad daylight. Mind you, this murder happened months before it reached mass media. We had to stomach hearing that essential worker, Breonna Taylor, was murdered by police while asleep in her home. Police were executing a search warrant on the wrong house. We watched Amy Cooper call the police on Christian Cooper after he asked her to leash her dog. It didn't stop there, we again became virtual witnesses to the murder of George Floyd who cried for his mother while officers had him pinned to the ground. One of the officers had his knee on George's neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds as he pleaded for his life.

All of these deplorable human acts were coupled with many in the Black community losing their jobs due to quarantine, Black owned businesses struggling to stay open, and Black parents trying to homeschool their children in and inequitable education system. The Black community was exhausted yet tolerating when we entered quarantine. We are exhausted and infuriated now. The Black community can no longer bear the weight of a racist world on our shoulders.

This time it is different. The world was at a stand still and the world is forced to see us. 2020 - perfect vision. This is a world wide exhaustion and fury has incited a revolution in cities across the US and overseas in Paris and the UK.

Time is up for murdering us, oppressing us, discriminating against us, denying us our basic human rights, appropriating us, belittling us, mocking us, victimizing us, demeaning us, falsely accusing us, chastising us, blocking us, punishing us, treating us as lesser than, benefiting from us, lynching us, emulating us, and demonizing us.

BLACK LIVES MATTER.

No more addendum's. No more caveats. No more accommodations. No more explanations.

Black men's lives matter.
Black women's lives matter.
Black boy's lives matter.
Black girl's lives matter.
Black LGBTQIA+ lives matter.
Black disabled lives matter.
Black mentally ill lives matter.
Black poor lives matter.
Black middle class lives matter.
Black rich lives matter.
Black incarcerated lives matter.
Black at home lives matter.
Black outside lives matter.
Black liberals' lives matter.
Black conservatives' lives matter.
Black creatives' lives matter.
Black scholars' lives matter.
Black entrepreneurs' lives matter.
Black seen lives matter.
Black unseen lives matter.

EVERY BLACK LIFE MATTERS ACROSS THE WORLD.

White privilege will no longer get to dictate the quality or expiration date of Black lives.

White people,
your silence will be exposed. We are done tolerating white supremacy's infliction of genocide at the expense of Black bodies.

2020 gifted us with the time and vision so, "we got time today!"

#WeAreDone Dying

2020 - The Gift of Isolation

Right before 2020 gifted us with isolation via COVID-19, I had a chance to escape to Paradise Island. 

Paradise Island, nestled offshore of New Providence and connected by a bridge to Nassau, Bahamas. The Atlantic Ocean cradles Paradise Beach in her bosom washing burdens of reality away with the tide. White sand of plenty coupled with bright smiles and kindhearted gestures. They say Paradise is for lovers, I would agree. Paradise for me, is also a place for wounded warriors seeking solace. 

You see, Paradise too has had to weather the storm. 

2019 Hurricane Dorian had his eye set on Paradise. Why wouldn't he right? She's gorgeous, charismatic, and her essence is unmatched. Dorian hovered over her for a day. Then attacked her for 2 days.  Dorian tore Paradise to pieces, destroyed what she had built, damaged her livelihood, and even killed members of her community. The world watched, whispered, donated, and gave their op-Eds. I think y'alls President even "Nasty Girl" Twitter fingered her. No one knew if she’d ever recover. She would never be the same.

That was September 2019. February 2020 she was back breathing life into lovers and healing into the wounded. She herself proved to be a wounded yet healed warrior. And yes, she would never be the same but what she birthed out of her wounds was far greater. I was there February 2020 wounded and seeking escape from the burdens of reality. I was exhausted mostly. But I also had been facing the Hurricane Dorians of life by way of human indecency.  I was in Paradise seeking solace and I found it. In the stillness the island brings I could hear God's voice clearly.  

Today, I along with the rest of the country and people across the world have been forced for months now to sit still and listen to God's voice. This time I don’t have the luxuries of Paradise Island but occasionally a breeze will saunter through the living room window giving me deja vu. We all now are left to find solace in our own reality. I realize we all are warriors healing wounds. Some seen and many unseen. Many have been Hurricane Dorian and inflicted these wounds. 

We can't go back to the way things were. 

Why would you want to?

What we lost during this time deserves the best of what we will birth moving forward.

The healing, the answers, the guidance, the next step is in the stillness of the isolation. 

Be still. 

Stay home.

Pray.

Meditate.

Listen. 

Listen.

Listen.

The answer is far greater than what's outside.