I'm wearing a gorgeous custom vintage gown as I walk down the aisle to the traditional Bridal Chorus by Wagner, but Metro Boomin' trapped the beat for me. That beat gets up in my bones which causes me and all of my bridesmaids to slightly slow twerk. You know that sitting pretty-lowkey-just-a-little-bit type of twerk?
Anyway, if I ever get married my wedding will be the event of the year. Says most single never been married (if not all) women in the world.
That's why when one of my best friends told me that her boyfriend had finally proposed I was ecstatic! She had been talking about her wedding day since we were in training bras. I eagerly told her I would help her with whatever she needed. A few months later when we checked in about the wedding and she already had things moving as I knew she would. She even had her bridal party chosen and I wasn't on the list.
Now, I know what you're thinking, how could one of your best friends not include you in their bridal party? I don't know ya'll but I legit was semi relieved because I knew I would have to dish out some major coins to get a bridesmaid's dress that fit me. Plus size bridal wear is not cheap. Hell, good plus size clothing in general is not cheap. So I sort of dodged a bank account bullet. But in the back of my mind I will admit I did have wonders.
I talked about it with my Mommy who, can be brutality honest sometimes. Never to intentionally hurt me but to tell the truths that I may not be comfortable with. "You probably don't fit the look she wants for her wedding. You're too fat" she said calmly. Candid conversations about being fat have truly helped me not curl up and die from society's judgement of me. I agreed that she probably was right, Kanye shrugged, and went on about my day.
Fast forward to a year later today. The wedding is about a month away. I've already RSVP'd and am thoroughly content with being there for my friend and cheering her on from the sidelines. I got a call from my friend a few days ago asking if I could say something at her reception? You know the heartfelt speeches the Maid of Honor gives? She mentioned that her Maid of Honor didn't really know her that well and I did. As I do with all of my friends I agreed to support her and give the short speech. As she has supported me during my business ventures.
Here's the thing, I never really asked why I wasn't included in her bridal party? I honestly didn't feel the need to. So I don't know what her reason for not including me was. But I can't help to think about other fat women who have and will face similar situations like this one and on behalf of the fat friend across the world I do want to leave a special word for those out there who are planning their weddings and any other social event where you have to make a decision that just might exclude your fat friend please hear these words of fat wisdom...
Will everyone please raise your glasses?
Will everyone please raise your glasses?
- If you make a decision not to include your fat friend in a special event because they don't look a certain way...you're lame.
- If you don't have any fat friends...you're lame.
- If your wedding doesn't have at least one fat bridesmaid in it...you're lame.
- If you do have fat friends and they are sitting in the audience on your special day because you want your wedding to look like a couture feed the children infomercial...you are beyond lame.
WORKOUT THIS WEEK
I see fitness addicts who work out two and three times a day. So on Wednesday, I called myself trying to work out twice. I went to the pool and swam 10 laps and I also did 30 pull-ups in the water. Then later that day I went to work out for an hour with my trainer. When I tell you I felt like my body was being dragged 85 mph down I-95. I was wheezing and felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I knew I was crying but couldn't tell where my tears started and my sweat ended. It was all bad. I literally sat in the parking lot for 45 minutes after working out with Lucifer because I didn't have the energy to drive home. Then my trainer, Lucifer, had the absolute nerve to text me the next day like "see you at 4:30!" Are you kidding me? You just treated me like a Black work horse mining the cotton fields post the abolition of slavery yesterday! Like what? Nah bruh! I did however manage to get up and workout with him this morning at 7:00am.
FOOD INTAKE THIS WEEK
Food intake has been good. When I'm home all day it gets tricky because I tend to eat more. So I have to try and stay busy.
I hear what you are saying, but instead of speculating-just ask. I have a friend who I was very close with when we worked together in New York. In fact, the man who is now her husband,also worked at the same company. When she got engaged, and ultimately married, she wanted me to be in her wedding. However, because of her husband's background, he's Italian, and Catholic upbringing, her soon to be sister-in-law and cousins were her bridal party. My friend is Irish, and they both would come hear me perform, so I did end up singing Ava Maria at the wedding. My point is 30 years later, she is still one of my closest friends and it was her day. You indicated how you envision your wedding one day...prayerfully no one will be able to take that from you...either. The fact that she wants you to participate in a very important part of the ceremony is valuable. In life we will encounter very few people we consider friends, because everyone is not capable of the responsibilities that go with that title.
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