FAT Fortitude Diaries: Yell My Name One More Time Bruh!

Photo Credit: Gus Bennett

Twice a week, filled with anxiety and panic, I force myself to work out with my trainer. One of the many reasons I decided to get a trainer is because I needed a push that I know I couldn't give myself. Long are the days I go traipsing into Planet Fitness and spend 15 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes doing the green light red light circuit rotation only to find myself laid out on the massage bed for an hour. I wanted something a bit more challenging and Lord knows I found it.

Let me preface this by saying my trainer is cool. I like him. He has a really nice vibe. He encourages me not to repeat labels like "morbidly obese" or negative phrases like "I can't" or "I suck." I appreciate that about him. But you do know there are some nice-crazy people in the world right? And I strongly believe this man is the Treasurer of the Nice-Crazy Coalition.

He designs these workouts from the pits of hell.

Sprinting, jogging, jump-and-jacks, push-ups, push-ups on a tire, push-ups on the devil, suicides, squats, squats with leg raises, squatting while boxing, squatting while running, squatting while running with a 100 pound bar in your hands, squatting with your butt to the devil, stepping up on the stair master, jumping up on the stair master, jumping and stepping while squatting on the stair master,  jumping and stepping while squatting while holding weights in your hands on the stair master, planking, planking while facing the devil, planking with copious amounts of sweat running in your eyes, and planking while dying. Oh but don't die just yet because you have to do ab work.

Did I mention that this is all done in 90+ degree weather outside and the heat is on 90 degrees inside too? And I'm sure I left out some components of the work out because my brain has lost its ability to function because of them.

This is not the work of the Lord.

When we are in these rotations I literally lose all bodily function. My lungs collapse and I have seen the angels calling me home. Every time I stop to regain some sort of consciousness I hear, "Cyn! Do not stop! You stop you're going to have to do it again!" Listen, yell my name one more time bruh and I'm going to have to call on the spirit of David and knock the Goliath out of you! Leave me alone!

After working out I sit in my car in the parking lot of the devil's headquarters, not being able to drive off for another 30 minutes. I can't even cry at this point because my eye ducts are paralyzed.

Overall, however, I keep pushing myself to go and do the work that needs to be done. I have more energy and weight is beginning to sneak off and I'm grateful for my nice-crazy trainer.

WORKOUTS THIS WEEK
Yesterday, I voluntarily endured the craziness and I'm in pain right now so...ce la vie.

FOOD INTAKE THIS WEEK
So, Tuesday I decided against my better judgement to have pizza. Do you know how many calories are in pizza? It literally broke my heart. Couldn't cry though because of my eye duct disability from working out. I made up for having more than one slice of pizza on Tuesday by turning it around on Wednesday taking in only 1,070 calories for the day. Go me!