VENTING FAT GIRL/Southwest Airlines

My sweet sweet blog.

I need to talk to you. More like vent.

My first article on Madame Noire aimed to celebrate those plus sized actresses that are making history in Hollywood. I wanted to acknowledge them and speak on how proud I was of them. After the article posted I made the mistake of reading the comments people wrote.

Out of over twenty comments only one joined me in celebrating these women. The others made sure they gave the women their personal medical diagnosis and threw around the term obesity like fresh $1 bills in a stripper joint. People commented that they cringe when they see Gabourey Sidibe on screen and anticipate hearing she has died from a heart attack. But my favorite one said we need to stop celebrating fat women, these women could die from being so over weight.

I didn't really have it in me to be on the defense about the comments because the fact is: when you are fat, you know you are fat. Period. You know the health risks involved with being fat. You are scared of dying from diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure. Everyday you look into the mirror you can see how fat you are. And I'm pretty sure with all of the reminders we fat girls get from our doctors, family, and friends we don't need an extra reminder from keyboard happy, internet junkies, who spend their lives making useless and insulting comments on blogs. Hell, my own grandmother wrote a letter saying she didn't want a fat granddaughter so these comments are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Let's clear up some misconceptions, shall we?

• Just because a woman is fat doesn't mean she is lazy.

• Just because a woman is fat doesn't mean she doesn't work out. 

• Just because a woman is fat doesn't mean she is not making strides to live a healthier lifestyle. 

• Just because a woman is fat doesn't mean she spends her days eating all the time. 

• Again, she is perfectly aware that she is fat. She knows her health risks and she doesn't need you to remind her of them.

I am just as irate about this issue as I am about racism across the world and gender inequality. If you are Black, a woman and overweight you might as well be the scum of the earth because that is how we are treated and why?

Since when does a number on a scale determine the type of person you are?

Since when do rolls, muffin tops, and spare tires determine if you would be a good employee or not?

Why is the size of your waist a determining factor of beauty?

I recently took a trip to New Orleans. One of my favorite cities. New Orleans is a city rich in Black history, culture, and southern hospitality. Its one of the few cities I can honestly say I feel free in. Just free to be me...no judgement. I can walk down the street, fat, and not have to worry about whispers, strange looks or sly comments. Most importantly New Orleans reminds me that in spite of a disaster in your life you can rebuild and still be great.

I arrived to the Southwest Airlines terminal at DCA headed to New Orleans and was ready to have a great time! As I was waiting at the gate for my flight to board a Southwest Airlines agent approached me and asked me was I going to New Orleans? I said yes, and she then asked to see my boarding pass. Now with all of this new technology in place you can have your boarding pass on your phone. I pulled my phone out and she looked at it and walked away. They called the flight to board and I was brought over a paper boarding pass and a ticket that said "place this reserved ticket in the seat pocket next to you." I was a bit confused but thought nothing of it.

Preparing to come home from New Orleans I was unable to check-in to my flight the night before as I usually do. When I called I was told that I had been pre-assigned a seat and would have to check-in at the airport. This was strange to me because Southwest has a first come first serve seating arrangement. I get to the airport and I am handed a boarding pass, the same reservation ticket reserving the seat next to me as my departure flight from DCA, and a pre-boarding ticket for "disability" reasons. No one would tell me why this was done.

Then it became clear I had been labeled disabled because of my size and I had to reserve the seat next to me because no one wants to sit next to a fat girl on the plane. I am judged not only because I am Black, not only because I'm a woman, but add being fat to that equation and you have degradation at its finest.

I could use this section to argue how far from disabled I am and how my fat cells aren't spewing over to the plane seats next me but I'll refrain. What I will do is go back to the comment that we need to stop celebrating fat girls that an ignoramus wrote under my article. Ain't nobody celebrating us bruh! We are ridiculed, labeled, demeaned, humiliated, judged, tormented, and the butt of every damn joke.
So if writing articles to uplift and motivate another Black woman who happens to be fat is what I have to do, then that is what I'm going to do! Somebody needs to say hey you are smart, talented, beautiful, motivating, remarkable and your weight won't ever change that! The world may be against you but don't let that stop you!

I am so sick of this consistent attack against difference in humanity by the most inconsistent groups of people!

Do not pass GO, do not collect $200 hundred dollars...just make sure you are dressed appropriately for the heat in hell. 

I SPY: The Woes of Social Media

Dear Confessions of a Purse Carrier,

I know I haven't told you the news but I recently was given the opportunity to write for Madame Noire. An opportunity that was orchestrated by GOD and manifested through you. I realize now that all of the posts I have made on this blog mattered. Though I was just using you as my personal virtual diary not caring really if people read you or not, people were actually reading and clearly liked what they had read. Who knew? I just want to say thank you. Thank you for letting me be me. I have written quite a bit and left it here for you to bare. I've dealt with heartache, successes, epiphanies, and dreams right here on this blog. I even pissed a few people off. Ce la vie. I didn't have to worry about MLA standards or run on sentences I just wrote for love of writing and you sustained that love. I didn't have to worry about an editor tweaking my voice. Every word was all authentically mine and that's why I will always cherish you. I promise I will at least leave a word here every now and then. You are my first love. You gave my soul a voice. Now I get paid for doing what I love and that in itself is a gift. I'm forever indebted to you. 

Love,

Creme

A popular game with Elementary aged children is "I Spy." It's so interesting to see how much of a kick they get out of it while the teacher is only using it as a strategy to keep them cool, calm, and collected. During "I Spy" the designated spy says "I spy with my (insert eye color here) something that's (insert the color or shape of an object that's in the room here)." Those trying to figure out what the spy is talking about begin to call out things around the room that fit the description. Whomever guesses correctly usually becomes the spy and the game repeats itself. Easy enough right? I think this game is great for school aged children it strengthens observation and critical thinking skills. It even in many ways builds confidence. But I have found that adults are playing this game everyday especially on social media and honey, it's driving me bananas. 

Social media is an ingenious way to stay connected with friends and family. It's also a tool you can use to network, share successes, and market your business and/or brand. Remember when Facebook was only for college students and if you didn't have a college email address you couldn't join? I was so happy to find people I went to Elementary school with and was a Student Ambassador with all having gone to college. Then Facebook unlocked it's doors and everybody and they Mama (literally) is on the Book. That to me is still not a bad thing. I have found so many people I have lost contact with over the years and have always wondered about. I am still looking for my Third grade teacher and have faith that Facebook will help me find her. But the trouble is once people have added you and begin posting their life moments the "I Spy" shenanigans begin.

I am a person who pretty much enjoys minding my business. However, I do enjoy some good tea if you are spilling. But for the most part I enjoy staying in my lane. But when you scroll down your timeline and people you follow have posted their business in what they feel is a vague way, you are forced to play "I Spy" with them and the mess of their lives. I don't want to see in my newsfeed you arguing with your man about why his socks and shoes are on the floor of another woman's house. I don't want to see your status where you are clearly reading or cussing somebody out but fail to mention their name. I don't want to see a thousand picture photo album of you and the very same people you say you can't stand. So because our brains are not equipped to just pass this stuff by or ignore it people are forced to discuss it, guess what is going on or decipher what you are talking about. 

We need social media etiquette classes! First class is free but every time you slip up there's a penalty fee. Five or more slip ups you are restricted access for a month. What ya'll think? I have debated for awhile deleting social media sites like Facebook. I noticed a few of my friends leave and come back probably because they got sick of playing "I Spy." I've deleted people, changed settings, blocked and still things manage to pop up. In this day and age and especially as I am in pursuit of my life's goals it is not smart to not have a social media presence. With that being said join me for a brief moment in a social media peace keeping attempt. I compiled a very short list that will help us coincide in a peaceful, non Elementary school game sort of way:

1. Don't argue with your significant other on social media. Save that for home and have the cops on speed dial.

2. If you are cheating on your mate don't post pics, tag, check-in, comment under posts with the one you are cheating with. Please. Trust me it all goes down hill.

3. Stop reading and cussing people out without tagging them. If you feel the urge migrate to Twitter it's great for venting.

4. Stop talking about people if you are going to hang out with them and take pictures documenting your excursions.

5. Post more about your accomplishments, travels, kids, things or moments in time that make you happy. We want to celebrate with you!

6. Lay off the reposts of kids fighting each other and participating in sexual acts. It's despicable and diminishes your character.

7. Stop tagging yourself in locations that would lead us to believe you are in some sort of danger without an explanation (i.e. hospitals, police precincts, prisons, scene of the crime, the trunk of a car).

8. I'm not opposed to you taking pics at funerals. The way in which you document your loved ones funeral is your prerogative. But the moment you decide to post the selfie you took with a corpse please ask GOD to redirect your path.

I hope this helps somebody and we can live happily every after in social media land.