Its beat is steady, but is residing outside of my chest post my recent trip into Maui.
Instead of my usual written soliloquy detailing the ins and outs of this adventure, I’ve decided to table it. Instead, I want to dedicate this post to a woman who I have known since freshman year of high school. My ride, ain’t no need to die, closest friend, Mrs. Allycia Atania.
I vaguely remember high school. Allycia knows this as she’s constantly trying to get me to remember things. I remember people and she remembers things/events. Sometimes even dialogue. It’s a much-needed balance especially as we age. Anyway, I can’t say I remember first seeing her in high school. I do remember the turn to your left and right speech they give to Ellington students, foreshadowing that everyone in the freshman class won’t make it to senior year. I hated that speech. What an insensitive speech to give some of the most talented 13/14 years olds from all over the District who literally bust their asses and had enough courage to even be sitting in this cold ass professional Theater talking about some of us won’t “make it," I thought. No literally, I busted my ass walking up the stairs to the school on the first day but that's another post for another time. I recently found out that students who lived in Ward 8 in the late 90s early 2000s, were picked up by a bus the city arranged and brought uptown to the mean streets of Georgetown. The lengths so many children and their parents had to go through to “make it” to the school building everyday should have been considered before making this speech. I thought to myself, 'what does “make it” even mean? Why can’t we work as a team to help each other “make it” to wherever this “it” place is you are talking about? But by now you know I can write a book on the ways in which some educators use mental abusive tactics and conveniently label them as "tough love." This fiery way of thinking and questioning was evident in Allycia too which is why I think we clicked. Our inner thought conversations with each other are epic!
First day of school, I was looking for this dude Solomon. Solomon was fine as hell and would cut across my middle school playground to go to Safeway. My middle school was across the street from Ellington. I found out he was a senior and I was ready to shoot my shot, not really (lol). I was not about that life, but I damn sure took my time to look at the brotha. This is the first time I think I saw Allycia. She was walking near Solomon down the hall. I remember thinking to myself, “her hair is so pretty!” Now, I’m sure Allycia has her own version of first meeting me. She even says I got on her nerves. Nonetheless, we became thick as thieves. Allycia was the first person to teach me the importance of your name, advocating for yourself, and demanding that people pronounce it correctly. She would phonetically sound out her name for any and everybody. "UH-LEE-SEE-UH!" We are both June Geminis, love to read, and absolutely love the art of Theater. We spent lots of time together in and out of school. My mom would drive us around and my dad would cook for us. She is a huge part of my family.
We had disagreements like most teenage girls do. She says I always “stopped talking to her” when I was mad. In my defense, even till this day, I don’t be feeling like talking man (lol). We always managed to work it out and we’d back being carefree little Black girls in no time. Allycia helped me figure out what communication looks like through introversion, so all parties are served. My favorite memories are the times we’d skip school, go down Georgetown, sit on the bridge at the harbor and sing loud (and wrong) Mary J. Blige’s whole discography. Who hurt us?
I appreciated how she was adamant about doing what she had to do to get to my undergraduate graduation in Chicago. I still remember the proud crocodile tears I cried when she walked across the stage at her graduate school graduation. Allycia was the brainchild behind the birth of my production company, SoulFLY Theatre Society. Our first show together was Vagina Monologues. We got into a disagreement mainly because neither one of us knew what we were doing. However, cultivating art together is such a healing process that can't ever be broken, and I strongly believe birthing SoulFLY proved our friendship could withstand anything.
As we grew older, we were separated by states and now coasts. We've had whole lives, loves, careers, and endeavors but we never lost our connection. Today we check in sporadically and unpack everything from politics, life struggles, spiritual inquiries, reckless human acts, and whatever we are watching on television. Looking at my phone and seeing her name pop up brings me so much joy in a world orchestrating to steal it.
In this newest season my Allycia is now a wife! The pandemic put a wrench in her original ceremony plans but I believe she was gifted back the wedding she truly wanted. It was a breathtakingly beautiful intimate oasis where the love was felt amongst all in attendance. As my friend walked down the aisle, I felt a lump in my throat. All the memories flashed before my eyes and I wept, yes, like Jesus. I hope to get to soak up her husband, André’s, energy more but upon meeting him I can tell he is a kindred spirit. I think as a purse carrier I’m so used to a lot of my friend’s significant others seeing my shell but not necessarily me. André is different because he seemed to intentionally want to know Cynthia. I like him a lot, and Allycia knows that the Gemini in me doesn't like many humans (lol). I trust and believe he will cherish my friend’s heart and woosah through her “isms.” That is so important to me, because she is truly a precious gem who is worthy of love, respect, care, and support and I am so happy she has found the one who has vowed to honor that commitment.
Gone are the days of Allycia and I traipsing around DC, me going down Georgetown and posting up on the couch at Platypus while she worked, listening to the stories that went into her secret box, eating together whatever my Daddy cooked at the dining room table, and being carefree Black girls. Our evolution from girls to women has been nothing short of amazing. Having had the privilege of growing up with and sharing many moments of it all with Allycia is something I will always cherish. I’m excited to witness the next chapters of her life, cultivate new memories, and continue to support my friend with whatever she needs on her journey.
I’m so happy for you, Ly and in awe of the woman you've become.
I love you whole in every season.
Congratulations Mrs. Allycia Atania!
