The carefree FAT Black girl annihilates everyone or thing blocking her path. I'm talking a Hunger Games (no pun intended) annihilation. I'm talking Game of Thrones. I'm talking blow you up and keep on moving.
Ahhhhhh I yearn to be her.
But a sista still has major hangups or insecurities if you will.
I could evaluate where they come from but thats just too much energy and I need what little bit of energy I have to work out today. But nevertheless these insecurities do exist.
Let's talk about this FAT girl in bikini wave. It's like a major thing. I was looking for a couple new one piece suits and they were few and far between. One piece suits in the plus size clothing industry is literally becoming extinct. I guess I will have to go to the beach in a pajama set because I ain't ready.
But I see these women walking around in their bikinis and having the time of their lives. Not giving a good kitty about their rolls being exposed to the universe. And I'm not talking about a basic bikini either. No-no-no. No-no-no. These bikinis are intricately designed. I'm talking jigsaw puzzle designs where your fat can play peek-a-boo. I am simply not ready. But I want to be. I yearn to be. I can't even find the courage to wear my arms out in public, except in that hotter than hell of a gym with my trainer.
It amazes me to see these beautiful FAT Black women walking down the street in sundresses with no type of support garments on underneath. Jiggling and wiggling down the Boulevard like "yitadee, what's the lunch move?" Girl, it must be jelly cuz jam don't shake like that! I wanna jiggle too but the way my mother set me up, I've been programmed to wear both underwear and shape wear underneath my clothes. Hell, I was still wearing slips to the club in college.
I want to be free!
A carefree FAT Black girl!
I want to go outside in the latest plus-size bikini, lay out on my lawn, head scarf on, no makeup, melanin pippin', smoking a FAT cigar, with a red solo cup of Hennessy, twisting my pedicured toes in the sun, mean muggin' the passerby's like my name is Big Bertha, and not give a F**K!
Is that too much to ask for?
WORKOUTS THIS WEEK
I'm heading to see my trainer today. Jesus be a respirator! I did work out with friends this weekend and I would much rather not ever do that again.
FOOD INTAKE THIS WEEK
I went on a mini vacation this week and I started out really strong. I ordered a salad at a Mexican restaurant that honey took major strength and constant prayer. But when you are the only person on the trip counting calories I couldn't hear GOD's voice over the heavenly smells. So I ate and drank and didn't count a thing. Pray my strength as I step on the scale and see the damage.
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