Love. I really don't know where to begin on this subject. Naturally, as a woman I desire to be loved romantically. We all do whether you want to admit it or not.I want it all: The marriage, the house, the car, and the kids.
Well, to be perfectly honest I really want to be married, living in a high end real estate brownstone/condo, in some big city, in a trendy little neighborhood, with a Yorkie named Cunty, a posh therapist, 5 kids (4 of which are BLAsian and the youngest one I adopted from South Africa). I want a housekeeper named Griselda and a gardener, her husband, Javier. I want to pump to work in my Louboutins (Gucci flats in my Louis bag) to my high profiled artsy job and live out my days loving and laughing with my family.
Don't laugh. You have to set your dreams high! :)
Nevertheless, we all desire to live out our lives with that one special person that completes our complicated lives. To those who have found this person I am so happy for you. But for those of us who are dating someone or are single we are going through the ups and downs on our journey to true love and I personally want to address these issues.
For about 8 months now I have been back and forth in what I would consider one of the most significant relationships I have ever been in. I am a private person so only a few friends and my brother know who I am dating. The most important aspect of this relationship for me is the self discovery. We all get head strong thinking we know exactly who we are, what we will tolerate, and how we want our relationships to operate. But the reality is when you add another person into the mix you are no longer thinking for you and what you want. You start thinking about what you both need in order to make the relationship work. For instance I was always the one who protested, "I will NEVER tolerate anyone who cheats on me! Uh Uh that's dead!" During the course of the relationship I faced the accusation of infidelity. Strangely enough the way I handled it was nothing like the way I proclaimed. Even though cheating was not proven, the accusation or suspicion can hurt just as bad as committing the act. In love comes toleration and strength that you don't really get to utilize as a single woman.
What bothers me most about love is its stability. People break up or get divorced everyday. Committing my time, energy, and heart to someone with the odds that it just may not work is frightening. I am not a person who accepts failure as an option and will fight hard to make things work. However, if its not meant to be your fight won't be enough to sustain it. I can't explain how much that really bothers me.
Solution:
I haven't really hashed the solution out. I can say that being in this relationship has brought me closer to the woman I am and has helped me conquer some of my fears. I am a better person than I was 8 months ago. I love my baby more and more everyday. Love heals. Things that frustrate me or hurt me fade away in love. Try not to worry if love will be here tomorrow and focus on the happiness it brings today. Trust in its power, accept its place in your life, and never forget to reciprocate it. It's undoubtedly "the sweetest hangover that I don't want to get over..."
Perfectly written!
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