Thursday, April 8, 2010

To be young, gifted, and FAT!


There's always drama when kids get out of school and you happen to be on the train or bus with them. After working a long day the last thing anyone wants to do is sit on the train with loud, hormone induced, cowardly-rude teenagers who are simply trying to assess their man/womanhood after being caged up in a D.C. Public School building all day.


Today was just like any other day. A group of three girls boarded the train making their presence known with vulgar banter, talks of Mr. Parker's Math class, the cutest boy on the basketball team, and who was dating who. The passengers already on board are used to this 4:00 p.m. disturbance of peace and are seemingly oblivious to their surroundings. There is another young lady already on board. She was all dressed in her school uniform. Crisp white polo and khaki pleated skirt. You can tell her Mother (or Grandmother) was from the old school because even her socks looked ironed. She had cornrows at the top of her head that met with Shirley Temple curls in the back. You could see the Vaseline residue on her face that her mother (or Grandmother) shellacked her face with before she left for school this morning. What I found most unique about this girl is that she still had that child-like innocence in her eyes that a lot of her peers seem to have lost.


Approximately 5 minutes into the train ride the "ring leader" of the group of girls noticed the girl sitting across from them. She whispers to her friends and they laugh at the girl. The ring leader the yells, "Aye you ole Precious lookin', ugly, FAT bitch! Your Momma prolly be beating the shit outta you bitch! Your Daddy prolly hittin' dat joint too!" I looked at the girl. She did not turn her face to the "ring leader". She just bit the bottom right corner of her lip, clintched her fist and shook her leg in anxiety. "Aye FAT bitch, I'm talking to you!" the "ring leader" said. The girl kept her face straight forward and never turned around. She closed her eyes and tears began to roll down her cheeks. In her element of pride the "ring leader" fueled by the laughter of her peers, stood up and repeated her previous statement, but this time she yelled: "AYE you ole Precious lookin', ugly, FAT BITCH!" Your Mo'Nique lookin' Momma prolly be beatin' the shit out your FAT ass!" The girl opened her eyes, her whole body was trembling she stood up, turned around, and started punching the "ring leader".


To be young, gifted, and FAT.



  • FAT: worse than being sick, or homeless, or jobless, or *dead*.

  • FAT: Discriminated against more than a Black person, a Jew, or a Middle Eastern.

But to be FAT, Black, and a woman? Well, you might as well be dead, right? No one is going to love you, right?


19th Century Europe put us on display in a freak show, named us "Hottentot Venus" when our name was Saartjie Baartman. They raped us and in death put our genitals, brain, and skeletal remains on display in a museum. 1920's Harlem had us stereotyped in to the A-sexual caregiver who cooked, cleaned, sang, and watched after her white boss's children. We wore a rag on our head and a smile on our face. 21st Century Hollywood has us on the big screen unkempt, poor, sexually abused, physically abused, mentally abused, illiterate, HIV positive, and an unwed mother due to an incestuous relationship. Running through the streets of NY with a bucket of stolen chicken in our hand and a scowl on our face. We are barbaric, beasts, nasty, and ugly.


Respusha, Big Momma, Precious, A member of the Klump family.


We're not beautiful, right? We don't deserve respect, right?


We are mothers, daughters, sisters and friends. We are in relationships and we do get married. We are talented and educated. We are sexy.


The fact that we can walk down the street in a society/world that continues to belittle our existence speaks measures to our strength.


To be young, gifted, and FAT! Go ahead, it's funny right? I know you want to laugh...


*Exit carrying my purse*

2 comments:

  1. Wow, cyn, this one hits close to home. Being a fellow big girl with dark skin, I was also targeted by very dumb people who would say "damn u look just like Precious", or I will get people who would try to say it in a nice way, like " u know what u look like Precious but u look better than her". WTF!!!!!!! Trust me it took me a very long time to love myself. It took me running home from school crying my heart out to my mon because the kids would say that I am black and ugly. It took my mom to tell me everyday that I was a beautiful girl and she had to literally point out the beautiful things about me that i felt that i belonged in this world. That was years ago, but since this movie came out it was like reliving my elementary days over again. WHY did this have to be, why did it take this movie to come out for people to really be ignorant and plain rude. Now it seems like thay have a word/name for what the world thinks is ugly. Who want to told that they look like a girl who EVERYONE THINKS is ugly. But you know what I am glad that this has happened, it has actually taught me to strut harder and laugh louder. I have learned that I love myself even more, and what people say about means absolutely nothing. Of course to be laughed at and called namnes hurts and people get a laugh out of it but by the time it reaches MY each it has turned into my mothers voice telling me how beautiful I am.

    Love u>.

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  2. I was a fat child. Now I'm a fat mother with fat children. And, we are the phatest fat people you will ever know.

    Where's my Gucci?

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